To those of you who can't abide spoilers, I apologize to you for the title of this post. I couldn't really come up with anything better, but at least I saved you time (because I know you were eagerly awaiting an update on my life).
I knew it would happen, but when I wrote part one of this post several weeks ago, I said I'd update within a week, unless things got busy. Well, guess what - weddings are busy affairs. Turns out there's a lot to do in the three days leading up to the event. The purchasing of groomsman gifts, the ironing of clothes, the airlines all deciding to ruin the lives of friends and family, etc. Actually, I didn't even iron my clothes. Pretty sure my sister did, and I still showed up looking like a scrub. Upon my arrival, the conversation with our wedding planner (who was AWESOME in every way) went like this:
Her: "Where is your jacket?"
Me: "It wasn't part of the dress code.."
Her: "You're wearing Vans??"
Me: "Blaire said I could.."
Her: "Is your shirt ironed?"
Me: "My sister did it.."
Her: "Is that blood on your shirt??"
And so on. Despite the apparent mess that I was, everything ended up going according to plan. It was a glorious event. I don't really know to describe it, and I'm not going to summarize it, but it was just about as perfect as it could have been. I've been telling people that I never really had fun at weddings until I went to my own. AND TO THINK I ALMOST SKIPPED IT.
The thing is, I hate being the center of any kind of attention. It wasn't always this way, but I've developed pretty bad stage fright, and I shrink from any sort of spotlight. I'm OK being left to my devices in the corner, or spending my time with scant few others. I was all kinds of uncomfortable at our engagement party, curious as to why so many people would show up to an event to celebrate something I'd done. Let's be honest though, they showed up for my wife. She's much cooler than I am, not to mention better-looking.
As you may have guessed, my nerves were wound pretty tight the day of the wedding. You see, when I make my entrance into a room, I'm accustomed to one of the following three responses:
1. People turn to glance at me, then turn back to whatever they were doing.
2. People turn to glance at me, then turn to who I'm with, and approach them.
3. People don't look at me at all.
So imagine my surprise at people turning to me, hugging me, patting my back, shaking my hand, etc. All I did was marry the love of my life.Calm down, am I right?
In all seriousness, it was entirely surreal. I'd been that guy shaking the hand of the groom so many times in the past year. It felt strange being on the other side of the handshake.
It didn't get any less surreal during the honeymoon, either. Again, I won't summarize, but it didn't feel like I should have been allowed to rent a two-story beach-side condo on the cliffs of a sleepy Oregon beach town. The whole time, Blaire and I were laughing at the fact that us getting married had been allowed to happen. Someone had signed off on it! It seemed like an illegal amount of fun, especially on our last night, when we were running around a bar/arcade (barcade?), playing videogames as loudly as we wanted.
And essentially, that's what I have to say about the 432 or so hours that I've been married. I married my best friend, and I'm wondering what the heck I was doing before all this. It's so much fun that it almost feels like it shouldn't be allowed. But really, if it were the only thing ever allowed in my life, then it would still be perfect.
Of course, I'll never really forget what I was doing before all of this. I showed up to Seattle as a wide-eyed guy without a clue as to what life would throw at me. Since the day of my first post over two years ago, the name of this blog has slowly become a misnomer. I'm still pretty lost in a lot of ways, but I finally clued in on why I was led here. It was to meet my wife. She's sat with me through panic attacks, endured through several break-ups, and put up with my antics. I get to be with her forever - which is good, because she's the only person who could deal with me for all eternity.
I'm 18 days in and marriage is awesome. I've been in some pretty scary/dark places over the past 3 years, and not once did I ever think I'd end up as happy as I am now. I've got God to thank for that, I've got my wife to thank for that, and I've got my wonderful family and all of my friends to thank for that.
Thanks all of you, for seeing me through to this point. Thanks for helping me get a clue.
Marriage is awesome.
PS I love you Blaire.
PPS I'm wearing Star Wars PJs right now and no one has the power to stop me.